Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
