I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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