We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
