people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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