so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
