thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
