that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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