I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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