I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
