Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
