and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
