i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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