Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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