8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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