i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
