shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
