She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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