People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
