I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
