I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
