It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I came so hard my ears popped.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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