Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
