he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
