That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
