If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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