Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize