My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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