this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
