why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize