my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
