I want to walk on stilts...naked
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
