Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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