Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
