No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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