Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
