Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
