I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
