the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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