Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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