Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pants are for mortals
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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