When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
love makes seman taste better
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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