So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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