@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize