Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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