After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
