Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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