Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
