we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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