fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
