I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
