yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize