she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize