i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
