We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
