you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
