stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
