I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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