the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize