Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
