Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
